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Baseball player Mickey Rivers, on his relationship with George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin :"Me and George and Billy are two of a kind."
Murray Mexted "Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'"
Murray Mexted "I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."
Baseball player Dizzy Dean, after a 1-0 game:"The game was closer than the score indicated."
Joquin Andujar "That's why I don't talk. Because I talk too much."
Billy Loes, Brooklyn Dodgers Pitcher, after fumbling a grounder: "I lost it in the sun!"
Football coach Ray Malavasi: "I don't care what the tape says. I didn't say it."
Former football player/announcer Terry Bradshaw: "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid."
Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team:"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious."
Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert:"Are you any relation to your brother Marv?"
Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together:"It's almost like we have ESPN."
Tom Nissalke, New coach of the NBA's Houston Rockets, when asked how he pronounced his name, 1966:"Tom."
Moses Malone :"I'll always be Number 1 to myself."
Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue :"I'm glad you're doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We're so much prettier than all the other women in sports."
Murray Mexted "He's looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline."
Murray Mexted "Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."
Murray Mexted "There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"
Murray Mexted "Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now."
Alberto Tomba:"I really lack the words to compliment myself today."
Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."
Ted Lowe :"That's inches away from being millimetre perfect."
Tony Crozier:"The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round."
Lance Armstrong, on what he would like his tombstone to say:"Cancer survivor."
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Florida State football coach Bill Peterson: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." He also said, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Mike Tyson, about writer Wallace Matthews: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."
Weightlifting commentator Pat Glenn: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."
Alan Minter: "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
Football coach Bill Peterson: "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
Basketball player Jason Kidd: "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "I don't hold water with that theory."
Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters: "Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean."
Tennis player Fred Perry: "McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands."
Tennis player Virginia Wade: "Ann's got to take her nerve by the horns."
John McEnroe: "This [defeat] has taught me a lesson, but I'm not sure what it is."
John Kruk: "I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."
Jim Wohford: "Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
Pitcher Joaquin Andujar: "There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, 'You never know.'"
Tug McGraw: "Always root for the winner. That way you won't be disappointed."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "In comparison, there's no comparison."
Sports writer Red Smith: "Ninety feet between bases is perhaps as close as man ever come to perfection."
An NC State player, when asked by a sportscaster to comment on his impressive opposite hand shot during a game reportedly said, "I've been amphibious for years."
Baseball player Mike Greenwell: "I'm a four-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife."
Soccer player Paul Gascoigne: "I never make predictions and I never will."
Soccer coach Ron Greenwood: "They have missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame."
Baseball player Pete Incaviglia: "People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000."
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Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any more bowl games.'"
LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
David Coleman: "And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19-year-old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago."
David Coleman: "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs."
Murray Walker: "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite."
Bobby Robson, after playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
Ian Rush, on the difficulties of adjusting to playing football and living in Italy: "It was like being in a foreign country."
Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence, Terry. What chance do you think Germany has of getting through?" Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50."
Frank Bruno: "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost."
David Coleman: "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people."
Murray Walker: "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."
Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
Ron Pickering: "Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running."
Murray Walker: "Just under 10 seconds for Nigel Mansel. Call it 9.5 seconds in round numbers."
Jo Sheldon: "A brain Scan revealed that Andrew Caddick is not suffering from stress fracture of the shin."
Marlon Starling: "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right."
Terry Venables: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
John Snagge, commentator for a boat race between Oxford and Cambridge: "I can't tell who's leading. It's either Oxford or Cambridge."
Tony Crozier: "The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round."
Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye."Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
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New Orleans Saint George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too."
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff you haven't been through in school."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? After all, he spent three years in prison, not Princeton."
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up to run at six o'clock every morning regardless of what time it is."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Tommy Lasorda , Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
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Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son,what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' "
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
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(US golf commentator):" ...and Norman's four skins are worth $270,000 ".
(NZ rugby commentator):"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him"
Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother."
Soccer commentator George Hamilton on Spain manager's substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier: "He's pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!"
Crystal Palace chairman Ron Noades, speaking in 1991: "The black players at this club lend the side a lot of skill and flair, but you also need white players in there to balance things up and give the team some brains and some common sense."
Winston Bennett: "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body"
Greg Norman: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father"
Alan Minter: "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious"
John Francombe: "The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball "
Ron Atkinson: "I would not say he is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better."
Ron Atkinson: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces."
Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."
David Coleman: "Morcelli has four fastest 1500-metre times ever. And all those times are at 1500 metres."
Metro Radio: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Sue Barker: " and later we will have action from the men's cockless pairs..."
Ron Atkinson: "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."
David Acfield: "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live "What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?"
David Coleman at The Montreal Olympics: "There goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class"
USTV commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them........... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
Ainsley Harriott, C4: "When the American athletes were interviewed they were so sharp, so articulate -- they were kind of wow..."
David Beckham, OK Magazine : "I have a definite sense of spirituality. I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."
Lou Macari, TalkSport: "The first half was end-to-end stuff. In contrast, in this second half it's been one end to the other."
Alvin Martin, TalkSport: "He hasn't been the normal Paul Scholes today, and he's not the only one."
Archie Robertson, BBC News: "The rainfall has been up to six inches that I've heard of, which is unheard of."
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O.J. Simpson: "The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that's the day you start to the top."
John Kruk: "I'm not an athlete. I'm a professional baseball player."
Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf: "I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf."
Liliah Osterloh (USA) who finished the year ranked 111 in 1998:"My potential speaks for itself."
Venus Williams after winning the Grand Slam Cup:"It's a nice bonus but, you know, I have to pay taxes too.".
David Coleman:"Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of."
Murray Mexted:"You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."
Eddie Eichorn, White Sox owner: "I told [GM] Roland Hemond to go out and get me a big name pitcher. He said, 'Dave Wehrmeister's got 11 letters. Is that a big enough name for you ?'"
Darrel Chaney on how management could keep the Braves on their toes :"Raise the urinals."
Reggie Jackson :"The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play."
Joe Torre of the Mets after tying a major league record by hitting into four double-plays, each time after Felix Millan had singled just before Torre came to the plate :"What's everyone blaming me for? Blame Felix. I wouldn't have hit into the double-plays if he hadn't hit singles."
Don Sutton, Pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels :"I am the most loyal player money can buy."
Jim Wohford:"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch. :"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."
Murray Mexted "I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him"
Baseball player Garry Maddox, asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam : "As I remember it, the bases were loaded."
Pitcher Dan Osinski, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices :"Better make it six; I can't eat eight."
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David Beckham "My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."
Mark Viduka "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
David Beckham 'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.'
Neville Southall 'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.'
Paul Gascoigne 'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.'
Alan Shearer 'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.'
Mark Draper 'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.'
Peter Shilton 'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.'
Stan Collymore'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.'
Ade Akinbiyi 'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.'
Ian Wright 'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.'
Ugo Ehiogu 'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.'
Jonathan Woodgate 'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough.'
Stuart Pearce 'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.'
Lee Hendrie 'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.'
Ian Rush 'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.'
Steve Lomas 'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11internationals out there today.'
Barry Venison 'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.'
Phil Neville 'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukrainians will be more European.'
Mitchell Thomas 'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.'
Alan Shearer 'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.'
Johnny Giles 'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.'
Thierry Henry. 'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.'
Les Ferdinand 'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'
| Copyright (c) 2002 Bastard Incorporated |