Capricorn (the goat)
November 22-- December 21
1) You have the ability to surprise people, and the police want to question you about it.2) You are a modest person, you have a lot to be modest about.
3) You remain in people's memories, no matter how hard they try to forget.
4) Capricornians are as honest as the day is long, in winter, in the arctic.
5) You may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. You really are an idiot.
6) You love words, you don't understand them, but you love them anyway.
7) You think that the quickest way to your lover's heart is through the chest cavity.
8) You would make a good concubine for a Leo.
9) You're so boring that people fall asleep halfway through your name.
10) Capricornians believe they own 90% of all the bridges in the world.
11) Capricornians swallow.
12) You can't use a rectal thermometer because of the risk of brain damage.
Best career moves: lab experiment, goat milker, gas station bathroom attendant